Louise Bates

Riley Chamberlin

Lloyd Lonergan

&quot;It was Maud Muller over again,&quot; he commenced, for the Police Court Clerk posed as a literary light among his neighbors in the &quot;Gas House Precinct.&quot; &quot;Is that Fatty Muller&apos;s daughter?&quot; asked his friend with interest, &quot;that big blea...

William A. Howell

Maud Muller Modernized

"It was Maud Muller over again," he commenced, for the Police Court Clerk posed as a literary light among his neighbors in the "Gas House Precinct." "Is that Fatty Muller's daughter?" asked his friend with interest, "that big bleached blonde who plays the typewriter at Campaign Headquarters Election time?" The Clerk looked at the other with contempt. "No-o-o," was the disgusted reply, "Maude Muller was in a poem. She raked hay out in the Hick country, and said, 'Good morning, Judge,' but the Judge wouldn't marry her. He was wise, or scared, or something. 1 forget that part. This other girl's name wasn't Maud Muller, but 1 called her that just to show you my education isn't neglected. She said, 'Good morning, Judge,' but Clancy, the motorcycle cop, brought her in to say it. He swore her auto had smashed a car another guy was driving, smashed it all up, and when he chased her she threw tacks in the road and busted Clancy's tires. He had a great time before he landed her. Why, there were charges enough against that girl to send her to prison for life." "What did the Judge do?" asked the friend. "He fined Clancy $10," replied the Clerk. "Sometimes those cops get it fierce. The Boss was mighty smitten with that girl. I'll bet he don't run away like that rube Judge in the poem." But although the Clerk did not know it, this was exactly what the Judge did. For when next he met his charmer, she upset him with her auto and got so mussed up herself that he knew she was false, at least her hair, teeth and complexion were, and he had doubts as to her heart. So the Judge quickly made his escape, being convinced that the original Judge in the poem knew what he was doing when he hastily fled from the beauteous maiden who was demurely posing in the hay field.

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Maud Muller Modernized

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