Margarita Fischer

Harry A. Pollard

George Periolat

The two Jims loved the same girl. One was exceedingly fat, and the other equally exceedingly slim. Slim Jim was the father&apos;s choice and Fat Jim the mother&apos;s choice. Both Jims and the girl&apos;s parents had their plans in connection wi...

Frank Beal

Two Lucky Jims

The two Jims loved the same girl. One was exceedingly fat, and the other equally exceedingly slim. Slim Jim was the father's choice and Fat Jim the mother's choice. Both Jims and the girl's parents had their plans in connection with their respective favorites, but the girl had a lover. The father did not like the lover and forbade him the right of the house, so he sneaked in surreptitiously. One day in the midst of his arduous, surreptitious courting, the approach of Slim Jim, made it necessary for the girl to hide her idol in a barrel where he was compelled to sweat and fume. She finally appeased Jim's wooing by promising to elope. The lover then emerged from his place of concealment and was again comfortably established with his sweetheart, when Fat Jim approached. The necessity for hiding her lover was once more apparent to the girl, and she hid him under a clothes basket and proceeded to entertain the fat man. She succeeded in getting rid of him in a similar manner. Fat Jim, while waiting for the young lady evolved a plan of elopement. Slim Jim's mind worked along the same lines, and he resolved likewise. After waiting for about an hour after the original time set for the girl to meet them, they each one separately started towards the ranch house with a view to ascertaining the reason for the delay. In their search they unexpectedly met each other, and finding one another on the same mission, in indignation decided to investigate the situation. They discovered that in the interim an elopement had taken place, and that the girl had departed wither her personally favored suitor. They aroused the parents, who came forth in their negligee, and in great ire, called down the wrath of the gods on the individual who had stolen their daughter from them and without their consent. The two Jims immediately set out in pursuit of the lovers on the only two horses in the stable, and the deserted parents, upon donning a few garments, were forced to follow on a stubborn burro. With a good start on the irate lovers and parents, the elopers were soon at the office of the Justice of the Peace and there they met opposition. The Justice hadn't eaten his breakfast, and refused to marry them on an empty stomach. A 44-calibre gun in the hand of the would-be bridegroom caused him to suddenly change his mind. When the two unlucky Jims arrived, the door of the Justice of the Peace was barred against them. They demanded admission and were refused. The fond mother rode in about the same time on her husband's back, the burro having balked quite some distance out of town. Both Jims and the parents held a consultation, and a battering-ram was applied to the Justice's door. Cupid beat them to it, however, as the happy couple came forth victoriously. A few years elapsed and the two Jims, still nursing their wounded hearts, went to visit the home of their successful rival. They found him sweatily engaged at the wash-tub, while his indolent wife sat by bossing the job. The ardent lover had degenerated into a henpecked husband. After witnessing several violent demonstrations of domestic tranquility punctured by a lot of bawling kids, the two Jims stole away and congratulated each other on their lucky misfortune.

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Two Lucky Jims

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