Jurassic World + Zombie Animals = Garbage Movie

Rachel Melvin, Jake Weary, Cortney Palm, Hutch Dano, Peter Gilroy, and Lexi Atkins in Zombeavers (2014)

Elijah Wood, Alison Pill, Rainn Wilson, and Leigh Whannell in Cooties (2014)

Tiffany in Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011)

Janet Mayson, Kirk LaSalle, Nicola Fiore, Wayne W. Johnson, Toni Ann Gambale, and Rebecca C. Kasek in Night of Something Strange (2016)

You Are going to be here by yourself. Are you OK with that.

Aaron Groben, Ione Butler, and Andrew Asper in Zoombies (2016)

Ione Butler, Andrew Asper, and Marcus Anderson Jr. in Zoombies (2016)

Ione Butler

Andrew Asper

LaLa Nestor

Scotty Mullen

When a strange virus quickly spreads through a safari park and turns all the zoo animals undead, those left in the park must stop the creatures before they escape and zombify the whole city.

Glenn Miller

Zoombies

This was one the first live action movies by &quot;The Asylum&quot; that I ever watched. After seeing their horrible computer animated movies like &quot;Trolland&quot; and &quot;Homeward&quot;, I wasn&apos;t expecting a good film at all. And, wouldn&apos;t you know it, I didn&apos;t get one.

The plot is obviously ripped-off from Jurassic Park, which the director admitted. A new Zoo is about to be opened, but then a strange new virus that turns animals into viscous, undead, killers breaks loose. Now the zoo employees must fight for survival and stop the virus from leaking out and potentially infesting the world.

Naturally, the acting is awful. The entire cast knows they&apos;re in a bad movie and make little to no effort in their roles. The characters hardly even react to the events around them, even seeing people get mauled to death by the zoombies. Or even when they get mutilated themselves. That one SWAT team officer screaming: &quot;I&apos;m in so much...Aaaaughh!&quot; as he was mauled to death by a lion? Laughable.

Predictably for a horror B-movie, most of the characters are unlikable, especially the interns. Few have any backstories, and even the few do tend to be uninteresting. Only Dr. Ellen Rogers (Kim Nielsen) and her daughter Thea (LaLa Nestor) have a notable bond, and even then, it&apos;s seen sparingly.

The movie may try to be scary with the zoombies, but it pretty much fails. Killer giraffes? That&apos;s actually hilarious. The monkeys were way more annoying than scary with ear piecing screeches. The scene where the SWAT team got slaughtered by lion might have been half-way decent if it didn&apos;t happen offscreen.

The CGI is painfully obvious and very poorly rendered. The giraffes and elephants were the worst computer effects of all. Kifo is clearly someone in a cheap gorilla suit when he isn&apos;t CGI. And the main trio riding elephants looks totally fake with camera angles only showing them and not their respective mounts. It&apos;s so bad, it&apos;s funny.

The action scenes were choppy, stale, and poorly edited, especially the scenes where the heroes are thrown from a crashing car or knocked back by the exploding aviary at the end. There&apos;s nothing new or exciting here.

Granted, I&apos;ve seen worse than this, but of course, I&apos;ve seen way better. And unfortunately for my mental health, it&apos;s far from the last film by &quot;The Asylum&quot; that I&apos;ll be reviewing, but it&apos;s a sacrifice I&apos;m willing to make to warn others against watching anything they make.

https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMzA5NTBjYWMtM2IwOC00ZWJlLWEzZTgtZTA0YWM4MjA4ZWE4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNzU1NzE3NTg@._V1_.jpg

This was one the first live action movies by "The Asylum" that I ever watched. After seeing their horrible computer animated movies like "Trolland" and "Homeward", I wasn't expecting a good film at all. And, wouldn't you know it, I didn't get one.

The plot is obviously ripped-off from Jurassic Park, which the director admitted. A new Zoo is about to be opened, but then a strange new virus that turns animals into viscous, undead, killers breaks loose. Now the zoo employees must fight for survival and stop the virus from leaking out and potentially infesting the world.

Naturally, the acting is awful. The entire cast knows they're in a bad movie and make little to no effort in their roles. The characters hardly even react to the events around them, even seeing people get mauled to death by the zoombies. Or even when they get mutilated themselves. That one SWAT team officer screaming: "I'm in so much...Aaaaughh!" as he was mauled to death by a lion? Laughable.

Predictably for a horror B-movie, most of the characters are unlikable, especially the interns. Few have any backstories, and even the few do tend to be uninteresting. Only Dr. Ellen Rogers (Kim Nielsen) and her daughter Thea (LaLa Nestor) have a notable bond, and even then, it's seen sparingly.

The movie may try to be scary with the zoombies, but it pretty much fails. Killer giraffes? That's actually hilarious. The monkeys were way more annoying than scary with ear piecing screeches. The scene where the SWAT team got slaughtered by lion might have been half-way decent if it didn't happen offscreen.

The CGI is painfully obvious and very poorly rendered. The giraffes and elephants were the worst computer effects of all. Kifo is clearly someone in a cheap gorilla suit when he isn't CGI. And the main trio riding elephants looks totally fake with camera angles only showing them and not their respective mounts. It's so bad, it's funny.

The action scenes were choppy, stale, and poorly edited, especially the scenes where the heroes are thrown from a crashing car or knocked back by the exploding aviary at the end. There's nothing new or exciting here.

Granted, I've seen worse than this, but of course, I've seen way better. And unfortunately for my mental health, it's far from the last film by "The Asylum" that I'll be reviewing, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to warn others against watching anything they make.

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