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Tom Hanks and Bill Maher in Real Time with Bill Maher (2003)

Before we go any further, I know what the people on the nerd line are thinking. "Oh, Bill, how can you say the iPhone 7 is the same as the 6? The old phone had an A9 processor and a camera with an aperture of 2.2, and the new one has an A10 and a 1.8." Sorry, not sorry. "And the old phone weighed 140 grams, the new one 138." I guess you could keep lugging around a 140 gram phone if you want your ass to stick out like Blac Chyna.

You like the way I channeled the nerd in my head? Okay.

I get it. I get it. The new phone, a thing of wonder. They made the camera work better in low light, which, let's face it, is only going to encourage Anthony Weiner.

But... but the question I'm asking is do your friends really need clearer pictures of your lunch? You've already got in your hand a device that has all your e-mail, all your music, the Internet, GPS, takes pictures, gets you laid, gets you a car and driver when you're drunk, films cops when they shoot you, and oh yeah, it's a phone.

It does everything but scratch your nuts for you, and I'm sure there's an app for that. It has Pokémon Go and Grindr, an app which enables guys to poke 'em on and go.

So why do I keep seeing headlines like "Why Apple needs a new hit", "The bad news on Apple's stock is only beginning", "Is a new iPhone enough to snap Apple's sales slump?"? Sales slump? Since 2007, that phone has made over $621 billion. To put that into perspective, take the amount of money Donald Trump has given to charity and add $621 billion.

Bill Maher in Real Time with Bill Maher (2003)

Bill Maher

Max Brooks

Lanhee Chen

Scott Carter

Adam Felber

Matt Gunn

Bill interviews Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd. The panelists this week for Real Time are writer Max Brooks, ex-Romney policy director Lanhee Chen, and Hillary Clinton&apos;s former policy director Neera T...

Paul Casey

Episode #14.32

Bill interviews Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd. The panelists this week for Real Time are writer Max Brooks, ex-Romney policy director Lanhee Chen, and Hillary Clinton's former policy director Neera Tanden. Bill's special guest is musician/activist Michael Franti.

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Episode #14.32

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