Ed Sullivan Theater - 1697 Broadway, Manhattan, New York City, New York, USA

President Barack Obama/Bill O'Reilly/Randall Park/Bob Weir

Stephen Colbert in The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2015)

Oh just you know I'm just always interested in talking to the leader of the free world. Look I am so thrilled to join you here at Carnegie Mellon University and just like all the students out there taking part in the White House Frontiers Conference you too will soon be looking for a new job isn't that interesting?

And I'm honored to help you that you asked me here to help

I didn't ask you here to help. I still don't know how you got in here

It's ok to be nervous, why don't you have a seat?

good we're starting off very well already and I think maybe we should start with a practice interview and I've got just the man who can help you, just one second

are you intending to help me "sharpen" my skills when I go in for an interview? Is that your intention here?

We're here to find out what you're going to do for a living ok?

fifty-five: tough time to start over for a man, ok I have a copy of your résumé, why don't you hand it to me like your applying for a job? Go ahead and do it

that's good you're a natural. Hello Mr. "Obomer", am I pronouncing it correctly?

Ok, I don't see any "promotions" in the last eight years. That's not always good. Can you explain that?

Honestly there wasn't any "advancement" in my last job. The only one with a more powerful position was my wife

Ok is it a twofer? Can we get both of you in by any chance?

Ok tell me why you're leaving? You say you're not being terminated but it sounds like you can't stay, is that true?

Well I'm leaving because it's required by the twenty-second Amendment of the United State's Constitution

Ok, a little tip: when you say staying with your job would be unconstitutional, what employers hear is that you stole office supplies so we don't have to go into the rest of that ok?

And it doesn't say here: where were you born?

Is this the longest form of this résumé available?

Ok good, describe if you can the type of office you'd like to work in?

Well I was hoping for a nice "corner" office or at least an office that has "corners" in it

Can you tell me some of your accomplishments? And keep in mind it's important to describe them in such a way how it "highlights", how your experience might be relevant to a potential employer

Ok well I brokered international deals that slowed the impact of climate change and prevented Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon

ok let's change that to proficient in Microsoft Excel, anything else?

Well I reopened relations with Cuba for the first time in fifty years

uh huh, I'd call that one "conversational" Spanish si?

Stephen Colbert

Bill O&apos;Reilly

Barack Obama

Jay Katsir

Opus Moreschi

President Barack Obama; author Bill O&apos;Reilly (The Factor (1996)) and (book, &quot;Killing the Rising Sun&quot;); Randall Park (Fresh Off the Boat (2015) and Office Christmas Party (2016)). Also: Bob Weir performs.

Jim Hoskinson

President Barack Obama/Bill O&apos;Reilly/Randall Park/Bob Weir

President Barack Obama; author Bill O'Reilly (The Factor (1996)) and (book, "Killing the Rising Sun"); Randall Park (Fresh Off the Boat (2015) and Office Christmas Party (2016)). Also: Bob Weir performs.

bappamtv

President Barack Obama/Bill O'Reilly/Randall Park/Bob Weir

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