Lily Dooem tells her boob sweetheart, A. Lolly Popp, that she wants a pearl necklace and that if he is stingy she will &quot;shake&quot; him and make love to a sausage manufacturer. Mr. Popp is distracted. He has no money, and his only stoc...

Say Uncle

Lily Dooem tells her boob sweetheart, A. Lolly Popp, that she wants a pearl necklace and that if he is stingy she will "shake" him and make love to a sausage manufacturer. Mr. Popp is distracted. He has no money, and his only stock in trade is a mustache and a rich uncle. He doesn't know how to raise money on the mustache, therefore, his only alternative is the uncle. He writes to said uncle. In which he tells him that he has a great scheme and that five thousand would float it. Also he writes to his Lily that he has communicated with his old fool of an uncle and that he has told him the "tale" and he hopes that his old uncle will fork out and that Lily will then get the necklace. Unfortunately he puts the wrong letter in the wrong envelope. Consequently, the uncle gets the letter which was to be sent to Lily Dooem. Accordingly, when Lolly Popp calls on the uncle to collect the five thousand, uncle is ready to greet him. The uncle has informed his servant that he is to tell Lolly Popp that he (the uncle) is very nervous, and that Lolly must do nothing to cross him, and must obey his every whim. Lolly Popp, anxious to get the money, is willing to humor him. The uncle asks Lolly Popp to wheel him around in his wheeling-chair. It is a warm day and Lolly suffers from the heat. Uncle enjoys the wheeling and doesn't seem to mind how far they go. They arrive at a shallow river. Uncle wants to cross. Lolly Popp has on his perfectly good white trousers and his pet tennis shoes. It almost breaks his heart when he has to wade into the wet and push the go-cart ahead of him. When they arrive on the other side of the river the uncle wants more. He tells Lolly Popp to do it some more, that he likes it. Lolly Popp is almost ready to drop. The hope of the five thousand is his only solace. At last they return to the house and Lolly Popp feels that he has earned his money, and that he will get it. He sits at the desk and writes a letter to Lily as follows: "The old lobster pays. You will get the necklace." In the room is a large oil painting of the uncle, life size. The uncle has sought to catch his nephew in just such incriminating actions and has moved the picture from the frame. He has seated himself in the space. As Lolly Popp holds up the letter exultantly, the uncle steps out of the picture, as it were, and pinches Lolly on the ear. Whereupon, all dreams of the five thousand and his future as Lily's sweetheart vanish.

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Say Uncle

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